Desperate for a Touch - Rana Pullom
I remember the first time that I entered the Spokane Healing Rooms. I was not there because I knew about the history of John G. Lake or the history of healings that had taken place over the years. I was there because I was desperate for a touch from God. I searched in many ways to fill the void that lived within me. As a Christian woman and a deacon in a local church body, I knew that I could find healing in the Word and that there was real power in God. What I did not know is that I could connect directly to what God has for His children.
In the spiritual culture that I was brought up in, there was always a waiting in line for “your turn”; a waiting for God to speak to you; a waiting for God to touch you. This created a desperation to try and earn my way to a deeper relationship with God. In my spirit somewhere I knew that all that I needed to do was to turn to God and allow the love of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to wash over me. In my attempts to earn God’s touch I became disconnected from purpose and laden down with the burdens of life. I had given up on so many things that were part of who God designed me to be. I lacked hope and I lacked light. My soul was broken and torn into fragmented pieces of an identity that was being aborted to a spirit of despair.
I was told to come to the Healing Rooms by two of my friends who at the time were in their own transitions. It was not an easy choice to make as I lived in fear of visiting other ministries and the negative consequences that could happen if I went to another church. I quite literally went to the building in fear, yet so desperate to experience freedom. I stepped into the building and went through the steps to sign in. I did not know it at the time, but there were Koreans there for something, maybe the Summit. There were people buzzing around with excitement and many people receiving prayer. The lady at the desk told me that I could go to the Glory Room to wait if I wanted to. I took her up on the offer thinking to myself that a room called the Glory Room must be a good place to wait.
I stepped into the room and chose a seat. Tears began to roll down my cheeks and gave way to sobbing under the presence of God. I sat in that room and wept for two plus hours. No one seemed to think it was weird or to notice my emotional state. The time just continued to pass. A group of people came into the room and prayed for me on the spot in the Glory Room. At that time, I did not know that it was not the way things were normally done. I have learned since that encounter that I will often be in that same situation of things not being done the way that they are usually done.
I was not aware at the time but a deep well was opened up on the inside of me. A fire was lit inside my soul that would never be quenched and would never be put out. Over the next few months, God began to change the counterfeit DNA that the enemy so strategically weaved into my being. That day God changed the direction of my life and placed me on the path marked “destiny”. The lies that I believed about myself and the church began to dissolve. Hope sprang up on the inside of me and I began to remember my dreams again. The promises of purpose began to come up from the depths of the grave where I had placed them. God breathed new life into my soul and I began to breathe again. I did not need to have physical healing that day. I needed to be healed in my spirit and soul. I needed life.
I knew scripture and I loved my God. I did not know the truth or freedom. I had exchanged the truth of God for a lie that was watered by the standard of man and this world. But God is gracious and He is faithful. Jesus will truly never lose one that the Father has given him. (John 6:39, 18:9) There is no limit to the love of God and the patience that he demonstrates towards His children. This is just the beginning of what God has done in my life over the last three years and the complete transformation that has taken place in my identity. If you see me sitting at the feet of Jesus washing His feet with my tears, know that the cost of the oil was beyond my ability to pay and I will never turn to the right or to the left. The desire left is to be among the burning ones as a life laid down for the cross of my Jesus. In laying down my life and taking a risk, I found life, healing, purpose, and purity. If you are questioning taking the risk to step out on the water, I encourage you to take the first step and see what God has for you.
Rana Pullom and her husband, Larry, are Partners with the Healing Rooms Ministries and leaders in Blaze Ministry at the Healing Rooms headquarters in Spokane.